Are You in Love with Him or Just the Idea of Love

When I was younger I often thought of love as the bright light at the end of a dark and long tunnel. I believed that I would spend the majority of my life traveling that uphill tunnel, alone, and desperate to reach the end. Everything that I would do and be while traveling that tunnel would become secondary when I reached the tunnel’s end.

At the end of that tunnel, my night and shinning armor would be standing there to greet me. He would take me into his arms … into his world and create for me everything I had always hoped for. No longer would I have to travel alone or be afraid that I would die alone. He would be there to love me, protect me, and to give me the security that I’ve never managed to find on my own.

Is this how you’ve always imagined it would be when you finally find love?
Maybe you don’t meet at the end of a tunnel but in a library or a church. Maybe you work together and before long you become a couple and then marriage enters the picture. A date is then set for you to be his wife and he, your husband. Oh how wonderful life is when a girl can dream of a love story that comes true.

If real life was as simple as the “Leave it to Beaver” sitcoms or the pretend homes we grew up constructing as little girls, I would encourage you to continue building those homes and believing in a future that will one day be your saving grace. However, the real world isn’t that fanciful and pleasant most of the time. In fact, it can be downright scary to a lot of women who are blind-sighted with truth should it be of an unkind nature.

Barbie didn’t have to worry about returning home to face a man who behaved like a spoiled little boy. Nor did she have to deal with the stress of personality disorders, drug addiction, lying, and cheating. No. All that Barbie in her make- believe home cared about were those damn dishes, her toothpick figure, and the idea of love.

Neither the man, nor the bills, were apart of the reality that made a house a home when we were girls. Like the dishes or the kids, he was just there to play his part in our dream world scenario. He was needed to make our dream a reality. It was and still is until this day a dream of worth and love that moves the fantasies along from one generation to the next.

I suspect that one day the man will not only have to enter the picture but be a participating member of the family if there is to be any hope of him ever getting off that couch. Also, if Barbie could take a real good look at her life and ask herself whether it’s love or make believe, she might be surprised at what she’ll discover.