If you are anything like me, you sat for days upon days just staring out of a window somewhere, reliving the shock of a loss you never expected would come. Your relationship, your marriage, the life that you had spent so much time investing in was no longer.
I’ve never had to do the children, divorce proceedings thing but many of you are going through that now. You or your spouse will have to pay alimony if your children are still dependent and the property you have together, including the houses, cars, jewelry, furniture, and businesses will have to be divided, much like the two of you are now.
The pain from the loss of a close relationship is no different from that of a marriage, they both hurt equally and for many of the same reasons. Whether you were just dumped, cheated on, abused by your partner, or left without reason, the loss of attachment is no fun for anyone.
But once the healing begins and the failed relationship is past, what do you do with yourself? Do you begin to look for someone else to replace the man or woman you once loved? Do you sell all of your possessions and go join a convent somewhere in the Midwest? Do you spend your time getting back at your ex for what she or he has done to you?
I’m sure that you’re tempted to answer yes to some of the questions I’ve posed but truthfully, I have found that the best response to a failed relationship is to:
• Accept that the relationship is no more
• Move on with your life
• Don’t harbor resentment or anger
• Use your experience for personal learning and growth
• Love yourself
You can’t dictate the actions of others nor can you make another person decide to stay when they’ve made a decision to leave. But what you can do is control you and your response to your experience no matter how negative it might have been.