Who are you? When you introduce yourself to others how long is it before you begin interjecting, my boyfriend this … my husband that … into the conversation? Are you constantly being mirrored by your boyfriend’s or husband’s accomplishments? Do you find yourself talking more about him to other people than you do about yourself?
It’s natural to want to talk about the person who holds the keys to your heart. It’s like having a new secret that you can’t keep to yourself. But it becomes a handicap when the focus on him is more important than knowing the inner workings of your own self.
If you are dating or married and aren’t self – aware you will remain lost somewhere in between the men you have dated and your marriages. You will judge and see yourself through the eyes of the man you are with. If one day he decides that you are fat, then suddenly you become fat.
If he decides to abuse you, you stay in the relationship because not only is he physically controlling of you but you have given over your power to him. Now your existence is determined by his characterization of you and your worth.
The further you remain estranged from yourself, the more you will experience an emotional and psychological detachment and get involved in romantic relationships wearing blinders. And because you have no concept of yourself, you are left open to the influences of the men you encounter. And this can and will leave you at their mercy.
If you are living through the likes of any man in your life … whether it is your dad, your husband, your boyfriend, or even your son … with no indication of the self that remains, you must find your salvation by discovering you - that person who has been inconveniently left behind.