Monday, April 13, 2009

What Kind of Partner are You in Your Relationship

First, let’s discuss three popular kinds of partnerships that people settle into while in a relationship. The first one is called the father/daughter relationship. In this kind of relationship, the man plays the role that you would normally see reserved for a parent. For example, the husband might decide that his wife will be paid an allowance as oppose to having equal access to their money.

In fact this man might go so far as to believe that it is his money that he is sharing with her and not theirs. Another example is the man who needs to control her social life and or network of friends. Much like a father, men can be very protective of their daughters.

Women, also, will fall into the role of a mother/son relationship. They will nick-pick their husbands to no end to get him to do and behave as they would have him. They cater to his needs and wants much like a real mother does for her dependent son. His clothes are washed and ironed, his meals are made for him, and the home operates around his mood.

The second type of relationship that couples adopt is the brother/sister relationship. This happens when you have two people who have just about everything in common besides physical desire and romance. Maybe they started off believing that they were love mates but over time have realized that they do better as friends. What little attraction that’s left is nothing more than an appreciation of common interests.

The third type of relationship that partners imitate is the kind that is found within a healthy relationship between two healthy individuals who are not only soul mates but also good companions. This kind of partnership is referred to as the partner/partner relationship. Women and men within these types of relationships have their own identity. Their identity is not a threat to their partner nor does their partner see it necessary to control their expression.

They operate from a frame of reference where love and romance is a personal exploration between two aware individuals who have some pertinent things in common with a desire to share mutual emotional, physical, and spiritual experiences. This type of partner/partner relationship doesn’t feed off the traditions of the past, how mom and dad behaved, or what one sees in the movies.

So, what kind of mate are you? Are you in a relationship where you’re the daughter, the mother, or the sister? Are you emotionally and financially being handled by a man who is the father, the brother, or the son? Maybe you’re none of these characters. Perhaps you’re your own person and within a relationship you can call your own.

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