Sunday, April 5, 2009

Why Women Don’t Like Other Women

It is so commonplace to hear women degrade other women just because they are women. I can not count the number of times I’ve heard women say that they’d rather befriend a man rather than a woman. They say that other women are caddy. And their male friends are much more entertaining and fun to be around.

This article wouldn’t need to be written if there was truth, and clarity in those voices of discrimination being echoed across the country by women against other women. From a psychological and spiritual perspective I can understand why it is happening. But there is no justification in prejudging another human being just because you haven’t resolved your own issues.

Our society has become sensitive to the struggles of different minorities. We hold hands and sing songs of unity and hope when it comes to overcoming racism. We march in support of those dying from life threatening diseases and we volunteer our time, and sometimes lives, to make sure our brothers or sisters in other countries have adequate shelter, food, water, and health care.

Still, there is an insidious cancer that has been infecting the minds of ordinary people for a very long time. It’s a mindset that not only diminishes the credibility and importance of its victim but at the same time will convince the victim to spread the poison.

Hating women, as well as gays, is still very much alive. The former, we don’t talk about and the latter, we stand on street corners expressing our reasons of justification. Yet, little girls and grown women continue to be driven into back alleys to be, raped, beaten, and often times killed. And it’s not just in this country but in many other wealthy and powerful societies, women are disposable waste.

They … we, are something to be exploited, used, bought, shipped, and rented. Our bodies are contorted into whatever fashion is deemed likeable by the man with the money. Our half nude bodies are plastered on street corners, beer advertisements, billboard campaigns, trains, planes, and automobiles. And where we want to be … boardrooms, behind the pulpits, or on the front lines, there is always somebody’s justification holding us back.

Unfortunately, that justification given by men who find it necessary to slap women around, assault them, mentally and emotionally enslave them is the same justification being exercised by women, who for no other reason than that they’re women, despise other women.

I understand it as old fashioned, internalized oppression from a psychological perspective. And from a spiritual perspective, I know it to be the person still in search of Self, God, and Love. However, there’s no justification in causing or prolonging the pain, shame, guilt, and angst of millions of women. Women who, just like you, want only to matter and be treated like decent human beings.

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