Monday, March 30, 2009

Is Any Kind of Love a Good Love

If you were to define love would it be a simple or complex definition? Would you say that any kind of love is good love or would it be a more stringent definition? Is it possible to love someone that you hurt or does the hurt cancel out the love? Is it love, when a parent abuses a child, a boyfriend beats up a girlfriend, or a husband cheats on his wife?

What is love? Is it a simple phenomenon or a complex juxtaposition of opposites? Does it mean one thing here and another thing somewhere else? Can a man love his family but hate himself? Can a woman love herself and sell her body? Is sexual love between an adult and a child love at all?

People, particularly parents, are always preaching tough love; Tough love, as opposed to soft love, or sweet love, or good love. They kick the child out of the home if s/he is behaving in an uncontrollable fashion. And what about dysfunctional people, are they capable of real love or are their relationships and love, too, dysfunctional?

Love has gotten a bad rap over the years mainly due to disturbed individuals claiming to be followers of love only to use it as a weapon for personal gain. They use it to abuse their own children. They claim it’s for some and not for others. They victimize, criticize, and demonize others in the name of love.

Love becomes an ambiguous and complex reality when the real thing has been perverted. It will have you believing that love is conditional, suicidal, incestuous, abusive, and sinful.

Is any kind of love, a good love? There is really only one love. Love is a state of being. And unless you are in that state yourself, it’s difficult to tell who and what is love. There is no such thing as bad love verses good love. There is just love. It’s not love that needs redefining … it is people who need healing.

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