Tuesday, October 7, 2008

How to Heal a Broken Heart.

We all can agree that in life crap happens:

You stub your toe getting out of bed in the middle of the night as you fumble through the dark towards the toilet.

You quietly fart while out on a date only to learn moments later that it wasn't just a fart but it brought some beef stew along with it.

You wrecked your girlfriends car and you don't even have insurance.

The very first time you had sex with someone they gave you an S.T.D.

You just lost your job and your dog has run away.

I could sit here all night and come up with story after story about some type of mishap or tragedy invading the lives of ordinary people. But I won't because I must continue to surf.

However, there is a lot of pain and angst in the life of the person who is found on the rough end of getting dumped. If you are anything like myself, the pain is on a whole different level. When someone you have invested time and energy in, suddenly and without good reason, decides to bolt, it can be emotionally crippling. Without going too deeply into it, almost everyone knows where that pain takes you: Abandonment, betrayal, rejection, isolation, ostracism,
feelings of neglect, being misunderstood, and the list is as long as your families cycle.

So, how does one get over getting dumped when getting dumped can mean many different things to many different people?

You start with what has proven to work and what speaks to the heart/head alignment.

Here's the proof:
1. Shock
2. Denial
3. Anger
4. Grief
5. Acceptance

These are not necessarily in the order of their occurrences
and you will often move in and out of them several times but acceptance is where you aim to be when it's all said and done. I call these proven steps only because they seem to be universal in how humans deal with loss.

The heart/head part is more of an intrinsic discovery in that no one but you can truly know the original source of your pain, and how you must rise above what may look like rejection, betrayal, insecurity, etc., into the lesson that your soul is mirroring to you.

People we meet throughout our lives... relationships we have, both the good and not so good... families we are born into, all have some hidden meaning and purpose and I believe that meaning and purpose can be revealed to the person who seeks an answer, rather than just another excuse to cry victim.

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