Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Why is True Love is So Hard to Find?

Pretty much everyone is born into this world in the same way, via the birth canal. Some are raised in a family with two parents; others with one. You are then thrust into an unknown world where people around you already have a multitude of opinions, ideas, and lifestyles. Over time these people raise you like a carbon copy of themselves. And as a result you, like them, grow into adulthood and repeat the entire process over again.

In order to understand human nature you must first understand the environment in which people live. Societal influences and attitudes, the laws of the land, art, science, and religious institutions all affect the ways in which people behave and think. Unfortunately, this neat little arrangement is your biggest obstacle to finding not only true love but a host of other unique and wonderful gifts of life.

Societal norms have people believing that love can be found by first scrutinizing the external makeup of the other person. We ask ourselves some really important questions like:

• How much money does he have or is he worth?
• Did he graduate from college and if so, where?
• Is she skinny or fat?
• Will she let me control her?

After you have assessed the external factors and have found them to your liking, you then proceed on an adventure that is more than likely a little off course. And then the day comes when you find yourself joining the “more than 50% of marriages end in divorce” statistics. Here are the facts:

• You are searching for true love in the wrong place.
• It is not love that you seek but your own healing.
• Love has to be uncovered before it is discovered.

Learning to truly love someone requires much more than uttering the words, “I do.” The process is one that should start long before you even think to want to bring another person, as a lover, into your world. Love is not a skinny girl, rich, or smart guy. Those are simply adjectives that describe something external about a person. Love is not choosing a particular person because you want to fit in or belong. When you look to these outward things as a prerequisite for love, you’re in for some hard times.

Too many people have experienced physical and or emotional trauma during their early stages of development and as a result of never having healed from their wounds, they spend a lifetime searching for that healing through another. These individuals are looking for someone else to “fix” them or heal their pains. And once again love gets thwarted.

So many of you are running around packing on the distractions of life, via family, associates, church, work, relationships, charity, explorations of all kinds just to avoid the much needed experience of You. That baby, who not so long ago entered this great experience called life, has made it to where you are today.

Along with every setback, heartache, tragedy, and loss have been an opportunity, your opportunity, to come face to face with your inner self. Yet, you allowed the pain to alienate you from the person who most mattered, from the person who truly needed to be loved and cherished.

Isn’t it about time that you peel away those layers of false protection and disguises? Isn’t it exhausting not knowing or living your heart’s desire while masquerading throughout your life being an impostor or, someone else’s carbon copy? Isn’t it time that you find an honest and true love?

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