Monday, February 23, 2009

Why Your Mate is A Cheater – Part Seven

Let’s make a couple of things clear before we discuss the last and final reason in our cheater series about the many reasons why people cheat. It needs to be repeated that you are not responsible for the actions of your partner.

If you are in a relationship where your partner has decided to clone the title of “cheater,” your partner is 100% responsible for their own actions regardless or whether or not they have chosen to blame you.

As unfortunate as it is, some people have bad lifestyle habits and no amount of trying to get them to see that they are hurting you, that their behavior is the main reason why your marriage has failed, or that they are traveling down a dead end road is going to get them to change.

Changing might only happen after your partner has hit rock bottom. And unless you think that you need to hit it together, there is very little reason why you need to suffer for his actions. Your partner has a lot of misinformation going on in his head about the kind of person he sees himself as verses who he really is underneath all that baggage.

Your husband thinks that skipping out on you for a fling with a woman he barely knows is what he needs in his boring life. Your partner would rather have sex with a stranger he met online than with the woman he’s been in a relationship with for years. Your wife has established an emotional bond with another man who she finds attractive because you have chosen not to pay her the attention she deserves.

These people are living in the age of misinformation. Somewhere along the way they got the message that other people are responsible for their happiness or unhappiness. And because they live their lives with this particular mindset, they seek out others to make them feel better.

Cheating is a sickness; a dis-eased state of being that starts in the mind and works its way out into a physical expression. A cheater doesn’t wake up one day and say, I think I’ll go out and cheat on my wife and ruin my marriage and cause my wife to divorce me and take our children and leave me more lost and confused than I started.

A cheater’s mindset goes a lot further back than even the marriage. There is always hope that the person will find some healing but before that can happen the misinformation must be replaced by the right information. It’s a mind thing that soon becomes a way of life.

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