Thursday, March 12, 2009

Can Your Relationship Survive Physical Abuse

Let’s ponder a few details before I get loose with my tongue about domestic violence, assault, and murder. I have no doubt that the man you love has been very good to you on occasion. Maybe he only hits you when he gets drunk and that’s about every Saturday night.

I also understand that he might have come out of a broken home himself where he either witnessed abuse or was physically abused himself. He has recognized that he has a problem and has sworn to you that even if it kills him, he will do everything in his power to change before he is charged with a misdemeanor or felony for assaulting you.

I mean … why should you leave him over a few slaps here and there and some kicks to the back or a black eye or two? It’s not like he did them all within one month. It took years to get those scars around your neck. And dare I mention the mental and emotional ones that will never go away.

If you are a woman who has survived physical abuse and still lives to talk about it you are not alone. If you were a woman who was murdered by your husband or boyfriend, you, too, didn’t die alone. Every year thousands of women will take their last breath while being shot dead, strangled, or beaten to death by a spouse or partner.

And many of them will kill your children as well. The man that you want so desperately to help is sick. He needs a type of help that you can’t give him. His personality borders on insanity; a decent man today and a beast come out of nowhere tomorrow. He is incapable of changing on his own but don’t fool yourself into believing that you can fix him.

And don’t think that just because you made it out of one bad relationship alright that you will make it out alive in this one. If you are being assaulted on a daily, monthly, or yearly schedule by a man who is consistently using your head as a punching bag, you need to have a plan of escape. You have only two options at this point … life or death. Don’t leave it up to him to decide which one it will be.

No comments: